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Going Out

GOING OUT

I live beneath a gym and all I can hear is the thumping of the treadmills above. Sometimes it develops into a constant hum as people rise and fall in unison. They’re forever running. Day after day. Running and running. Up and down and up and down. Sweating. Panting. Drooling. And yet they never go anywhere. They never move. Ever. But then neither do I. I haven’t left the flat for a couple of months now. It started when I lost my job. My manager caught me looking at pictures of Amber Heard naked and told me it wasn’t the right thing to do at work, but I couldn’t see what was wrong with it. She was perfect. Then he told me she was a lesbian and I lost my temper. The image of Amber on my cock was gone and if he was right, I’d never get it back. It would never be the same again. I got home that night and tried to find out whether it was true. I searched her up on the net and read about her in the news. It was true. She was a lesbian. So I started doing some research into how much it would cost to get a sex change but it was too expensive and I would have to go through therapy and try and live like a woman for a year or some shit like that. I didn’t really want to be a woman. I just wanted to fuck one.

Then I found out Johnny Depp had just bought her a horse. He’d split up with his wife and bought the Heard a horse. A fucking Horse. She’d stayed on his yacht and examined his fingers and now she was a lesbian with a horse and Johnny’s promise of better sex by penis. Maybe that’s what the horse was for. Fuck knows. They’re all crazy. But

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Comments (14)
  • Alexandra Neon's avatar
    Alexandra Neon
    1 month ago

    Haha soon, got some ideas in the works! Hope they live up to the last one! And again, really enjoyed this piece - great writing!!

  • Tomek Dzido's avatar
    Tomek Dzido
    1 month ago

    Hi Alexandra Neon . Thanks for the feedback. Typo corrected. When is your next upload coming?

  • Alexandra Neon's avatar
    Alexandra Neon
    1 month ago

    I spotted one little typo on page 5 'I want to let he know how upset ...' needs to be 'her', other than that this piece was entertaining and so current when considering how many men are trapped in the virtual world of fantasy, really brings up the issue in an engaging and insightful way. Enjoyed this immensely!

  • Christina Ar's avatar
    Christina Ar
    2 months ago

    An engaging, funny, and well developed story. Even though, your character for me was quite irritating, your writing was engaging enough to keep going. And the fact that your character irritated me and got me laughing at the same time, can only mean one thing: your writing is not only engaging, but affective too! Some minimal grammatical errors, one or two, but nothing substantial to distract from the plot.

  • Mitch North's avatar
    Mitch North
    2 months ago

    I really like the story's combination of bleakness and humour, as well as its pop-culture references which add to the character's inability to get to grips with reality. I do think it's too explicit in places and because of this felt kind of taken away from the story. These were mostly in the earlier parts and jsut ended up being sentence additions which didn't go anywhere. When you get to the chat room part later on, I think that works much better as it is elaborated upon in greater detail.

  • Tomek Dzido's avatar
    Tomek Dzido
    2 months ago

    Hi Guys. Thanks for the nice comments. I enjoy writing these little stories and its great to see what people think of them. The feedback is particularly important in getting them fine tuned and tight. My stuff isn't all bleak so just stay with me and I'll continue to upload a diverse range of stories. Thanks again for all the support. Much appreciated!

  • Tom Baker's avatar
    Tom Baker
    2 months ago

    Fantastic voice of a disturbed (but pop culture-savvy) narrator, builds well, too.

  • Maciej_Rajk's avatar
    Maciej_Rajk
    2 months ago

    It's really funny. And a little bit manic, which is good. And I think it's quite honest and just reveals stuff guys think, but don't share. Now it's time to read the rest of your stories. PS Little typo on the 6th page - "It will BE fun."

  • Sally-Anne Wilkinson's avatar

    And I agree with johnpaulthesecond, this is a definite recommendation for Staff Picks

  • Sally-Anne Wilkinson's avatar

    I was totally gripped by this.  The voice  is compelling, and kept me captivated to the end.  Without spelling it out, you paint a picture of someone who can only live through the net, a cut-off existence, alienated from and alienating the real people around him.  I sensed where the story was going (the clue was in the title), but this is no bad thing.  His panic when 'Amber' suggests meeting was totally convincing (his vulnerability conveyed well through the dialogue), and a great contrast to his earlier ravings about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp (which were, at the same time, repulsive and hilarious)..  I loved it - no problem with the title, apart from maybe giving the game away.  Looking forward to reading more of you stories.

  • Palak Bedi's avatar
    Palak Bedi
    2 months ago

    This was an interesting read, really explicit in its descriptions. The obsession and the hate absorbing James are a fascinating mix.

  • Tomek Dzido's avatar
    Tomek Dzido
    2 months ago

    Thanks for the comments and continued support. The title has been an issue so feedback considered and action taken. Hisashikarazu - thanks again for your support. Some of the meaning (if there is any) appears in later stories as these are all connected short stories which combine to make up the collection, 'Soapsuds Islands', and because a lot the events occur in The Red Lion and Pineapple pub, many of the character re-appear in other stories in which things connect. Hopefully it all comes together and makes sense. Hopefully.

  • johnpaulthesecond's avatar
    johnpaulthesecond
    2 months ago

    I enjoyed reading this. It's the kind of humour I enjoy. It's well written, witty, and striking. A bit explicit, but I'm gonna recommend this for Staff Picks.
    I dunno about the title though.

  • Hisashikarazu's avatar
    Hisashikarazu
    2 months ago

    Fascinating and bleak. This image of an automatic, introverted control obsessed individual really left me struggling to wrap my head around the story - to put some kind of meaning to it. And yet there was something to the one-dimensional insularity that was gripping.