'Before I discovered NOVExceL I could barely write a shopping list. Now I'm published in five languages and will soon have a movie based on my most recent book. Thanks PsyHook!' -Abby Lloyd, 57, Windsor.
You're more than welcome Abby and good luck with the film!
Who are PsyHook?
PsyHook are the creators and providers of cutting-edge techniques and technologies designed to tease areas of potential excellence out of users.
What is NOVExceL?
It is a method which enables the user to write, edit and publish** the novel that exists in a potential state inside every human mind.
My story is an alternate historical romance between a dyslexic character and the readers themselves, in a sort of Dickensian-Burroughs-Rowling style. Can you help?!
Of course we can, we love ambition at PsyHook! We offer a full range of genre options***, narrative structures and stylistic flourishes.
'I used to read books and think "I can do better than that," - now I am!'
-David S. Buyante, Canterbury. Author of Farther than Neverwas and Beyond there as well, winner of the PsyBooks Best New Fiction award.
How does it work?
At its core is a patented brainwave translator but this alone is not enough. We have developed techniques with top psychologists, pharmacists, neurologists, and leading writers to help focus those brainwaves, stimulate creativity and trigger inspiration.
Pharmacists? So drugs are involved?
No great novel has ever been written without drugs! We're joking, of course. A tiny dose of placidrahin when you start your programme allows for a stronger link between your brain and the translator. Later on some motivatradone may be used and at the editing stage objectivren or criticamol may be beneficial.****
Is it painful.
Not at all.*****
Your initial consultation will be entirely free if you meet our strict health and safety guidelines for operation.
While the costs of tailoring, manipulating and delivering the programme are high we have developed an instalment plan plus special discounts to help you reach your potential.
Where do I sign up?
Glad you asked! Either visit www.psyhook/novexcel.cosmos for full details, fill out and freepost the coupon below for an information pack or call the free number to speak to a member of our US/UK based sales team.
*PsyHook does not guarantee literary success.
**publication by PsyBooks is mandatory.
***unfortunately the dystopian sub-genre is unavailable at time of print.
****medication not advised for teenagers, machine operators, people with existing health conditions including mental, cardiovascular, digestive or dental issues, people with dyed hair, zoologists, pregnant, lactating or menstruating women and bald gay men.
*****some pain may be experienced if you fail to complete the programme.
At PsyHook your future is your mind and it's safe in our hands.