A Right Good Choice
A Right Good Choice
“There goes Pete the Greek with that woman,” Estherlene Baumgarten said, looking through the diner’s big picture window onto Main Street in downtown Goose Pimple Junction. “She’s all dressed up like she’s goin’ to Wal-Mart or somethin’.”
“He’s been seein’ her for some time now, don’t you know?” Junebug fixed the pins that held a bun to the top of her head.
“Doesn’t he know she and Homer Wensley ate supper without sayin’ grace?”
“Well, not only him…” Junebug had heard Tallulah’s morals were questionable, but she was trying to be delicate. “Once she had Homer’s kid, he moved on, and she moved on and on and on.”
Clive and Earl came into the diner, in the midst of another one of their lively discussions, and took their regular seats at the bar. The two older men whiled away many hours arguing over anything and everything on those red vinyl stools, but when all was said and done, either one of them would take a bullet for the other--and most of the residents of Goose Pimple Junction as well.
“Did not,” Earl said around the toothpick in his mouth.
“She
This is fantastic!
I love this!!!
Thank you all very much for your comments and your "likes." Much appreciated!
Lovely dialog!
perfect perspective perception
prime prescriibed people using pigeonholed projections of principle and a cutting clean end leaving a solid laugh. very nice.
Anyone having a problem with this story should read it aloud. Actually, it should be acted as a play. Classic oral storytelling, the kind I love.
Fairly enjoyed reading this Amy Metz and me being me, I still have an issue. For a short story it has too many characters. A short story should be about four characters - five at a stretch, but no more. On it's own that would have been manageable, but though the choice of names were excellent, they made it even more complicated, again, because of the number of characters. Now all that aside. I love the plot, the imagery, the characterisation and the outstanding natural dialogue. As a Brit', the only time I would ever come across that sort of dialect would be in a movie or a book. Not many (including those who use it) have the ability to reproduce it in a story, so for that I congratulate you. In summary, an entertaining read and I'll be watching for more from you.
I recommend this to the Staff Picks section.
Thank you all for reading and liking my story! You made my day!
Simply fantastic - please keep writing for ReadWave!
This is so brilliant it makes me sick to read it. I think dialogue is both the hardest thing to write well and the most important thing to write well - this delivered a masterclass of conversation. Pages 1 to 9 were gut-splittingly funny with the kind of one-liners you want to drop into conversations and impress strangers by passing them off as your own.
I hate you with a passion and will be reading every word you post here.
I really enjoyed your dialogue and thought you conveyed their dialect really well =)
Amy, this is one of those stories that really makes you smile. It had a similar effect on me to Armistead Maupin’s ‘Tales of the City’, which I read a couple of decades ago but has stayed with me ever since. Fabulous. The dialogue and narrative are both extremely readable and I love the names of your characters – especially those with nicknames: Junebug and Pete the Greek. The humour is a gentle ironic mix, and I love the one-liners, that at some points are almost continuous (‘all dressed up like she’s going to Wal-Mart’). There is something about the Southern atmosphere that reminds me of the film ‘The Waitress’ (don’t know if you’ve seen it, but it’s a quirky charmer). I wouldn’t know how to string a story together with so much dialogue, but you do it with ease, and I love the final lines which end with the non-judgmental Pete the Greek. A pleasure.