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GingerS's avatar
GingerS
  • Drama
  • Romance
  • Joey T avatar

    Short but poignant - very big well done!

  • LianneGraziella avatar

    This is really good, short and to the point. It would be great if you continued this, I'd like to see where it goes! Great work!

  • Alex Hamilton avatar

    Gripping little story, I enjoyed reading this.

LianneGraziella's avatar
LianneGraziella
  • Romance
  • Camille avatar

    This is great! I don't really like chem much but I'm excited to read more!!

  • WillG avatar

    A well told story with a very believable character, excited to read more! :)

  • Ashwin Shanker avatar

    nyc storytelling lianne

  • Lisa Johnson Mitchell avatar

    I love the description of the friend's legs extending up into her arm pits. Hilarious. Lots of energy. I'll read more!

  • Joey T avatar

    Interesting cliffhanger at the end!

  • writergirlfl avatar

    The two characters are set up really well, and I definitely know the feeling portrayed by the narrator. Interested to see where this goes!

  • Warren Paul Glover avatar

    Nice writing. The opening was good, drew you in straight away. Looks like you've got something going here.

  • Claude Nougat avatar

    Nice opening, zippy and makes you want to read more, well done! Very expert use of dialogue too!

  • Melanie Jean Juneau avatar

    this is excellent

  • Robert Mulolo avatar

    That was pretty good. I love the character descriptions. All I can say though is poor Ava

  • morriss003 avatar

    Great beginning. I got into the characters immediately.

  • Forward13 avatar

    Very nice, a well structured easy read that makes the reader want to continue.

  • Crystella Smyth avatar

    Very nice! I like how it was plotted and written. Keep it up :)

  • Miz Zesolia avatar

    I like this chapter. It's very direct and to the point and for me, the winning word was 'scientifically'. Great word choices.

  • awesome sauce 1 avatar

    great like the last line. Know the feeling.

  • Mike Stevens avatar

    Well, I'm glad to know that for once, it isn't me; computers and yours truly mix about like intelligence and yours truly!

  • Ann Liska avatar

    Great chapter, looking forward to reading more.

  • Carolyn Moncel avatar

    Very nice! Now, I have to keep reading the next chapters!

  • Ed Harley avatar

    Very mysterious- looking forward to some weird and embarrassing procedures!

  • Katrina Allardyce avatar

    Love this!

  • Christina Ar avatar

    I really enjoyed your story. Your dialogues are realistic and very entertaining. Your writing is very refreshing!Well done!

  • Inactive avatar

    Bit of a tease ending., orf to read the next instalment,

  • San Cassimally avatar

    Lovely impactful beginning. Look forward to the next instalment.

  • Meg Lorraine avatar

    I love the characterization in this! Your characters really pop! Wonderfully written and clear!

  • Matthew Lunn avatar

    Interesting and well written - I look forward to reading more of this!

ellehsim's avatar
ellehsim
  • Alternative
  • Comedy
  • Camille avatar

    hahaha :)) I liked it! This is sort of something I go through every month and I relate. Good job!

  • VioletBatt avatar

    This story is funny. I guess the stain won the war.

  • Joey T avatar

    Great dramatisation of a stubborn stain! Tell me, is this a metaphor of any kind?

  • Capoeira307 avatar

    Maybe it's blood. Tun tun tuuuuuun!

  • Christina Ar avatar

    Fascinating built-up of the story. Great writing, and your descriptions of her obsessive behaviour is captivating. Well done!

John Edwards's avatar
John Edwards
  • Literary
  • Diary
  • Romance
  • Joey T avatar

    Really cool piece of writing - thanks for sharing

  • Capoeira307 avatar

    The writing is very clever and enjoyable. I think the title and the story doesn't mesh quite well though.

James Hampton's avatar
James Hampton
  • Drama
  • Fantasy
  • Spiritual
Bryan Costales's avatar
Bryan Costales
  • Literary
  • Drama
  • Romance
  • Bryan Costales avatar

    Robin Lord Thanks for the feedback. I may be able to re-look at this story in late July.

  • Bryan Costales avatar

    Alex Hamilton Joey T Thanks to both of you for your appreciation.

  • Joey T avatar

    Very good again, thanks for sharing.

  • Alex Hamilton avatar

    Very well written story.

Carla de Guzman's avatar
Carla de Guzman
  • Literary
  • Drama
  • Joey T avatar

    There's a sinister note to the ending I think, which I guess fits in with the general tone of the story. Thanks for sharing!

L.A.Ney's avatar
L.A.Ney
  • Adventure
  • Diary
  • Drama
  • Elaine Caulfield avatar

    Read this NOW so you can say you were one of the first when it hits your telly box! Fantastic work Mr Ney!

  • Joey T avatar

    Thanks for sharing this - it made for a pretty decent little read and I shall return for more!

  • Louise Briggs avatar

    Really enjoyed this. Cant wait to read some more.

  • LianneGraziella avatar

    Really enjoyed reading this. You've written this incredibly well, great stuff.

  • L.A.Ney avatar

    Yep... working now.

  • L.A.Ney avatar

    This doesn't seem to be working on my laptop... can anybody else see the whole submission?

TheLash133's avatar
TheLash133
  • Literary
  • Drama
  • Teen
Sciwriter's avatar
Sciwriter
  • Adventure
  • Mystery
  • john paul the second avatar

    This was a great read. Stayed up enjoying it.

  • profile26651 avatar

  • lifeandliberty avatar

    Yes. Just, yes.

  • Joey T avatar

    This is a really cool story, I'm glad I found it!

  • Emsy avatar

    I liked this story a lot because it had a real sense of authenticity to it. I like the idea of it being based during WW1.

  • Robert Tucker avatar

    Really enjoyed this story. I found a typo on page 5 though - "It mist be morning".

hideb's avatar
hideb
  • Drama
  • Family
  • Spiritual
  • hideb avatar

  • hideb avatar

  • Lisa Johnson Mitchell avatar

    Beautiful. Emotional. Heart-breaking. Did the wife die? Thanks for sharing this.

  • Bombshellbecky avatar

    This was really good, i enjoyed it a lot and it's very emotional. Thanks for sharing!

  • Joey T avatar

    Really powerful piece of writing hideb - thanks for sharing it.

Antoni C Chuck's avatar
Antoni C Chuck
  • Drama
  • Romance
  • Teen
Jesper Hauerslev's avatar
Jesper Hauerslev
  • Drama
  • Mystery
  • Thriller
  • Robin Lord avatar

    This is a great ride! You give us just enough detail to keep us going - has a really cool film noir feel to it. Thanks for uploading!

  • the roaming shepherd avatar

    extremely well written the transition and flow of story is very smooth you surely should expand this too something thrilling i would buy it

  • Beem Weeks avatar

    Great ending. Loved this dark tale. Well paced, well written. Thanks for sharing this story.

  • Emsy avatar

    What a fascinating story. Sounds like spies and Why is the book so important? What does it contain? Well written and engaging.

  • Jesper Hauerslev avatar

    Katrina Allardyce Thanks for the kind words. Glad you like it:)

  • Katrina Allardyce avatar

    Excellent writing and keeps the readers interest like a vice!

Illustrated Shorts's avatar
Illustrated Shorts
  • Sci-fi
  • Illustrated Shorts avatar

    Thanks for all your comments! Really appeciate it :)

  • Joey T avatar

    Really imaginative stuff! I'll also recommend for Staff Picks !

Sally-Anne Wilkinson's avatar
Sally-Anne Wilkinson
  • Alternative
  • Mystery
  • awesome sauce 1 avatar

    me likey. will there be more

  • Noam11 avatar

    Woow! Very good! I enjoyed it very much!

  • Sally-Anne Wilkinson avatar

    Ed Harley Thanks for the feedback!

  • Ed Harley avatar

    Sharp and creepy all the way through. I especially enjoyed the part where she realized it was awfully quiet for a hospital.

  • Sally-Anne Wilkinson avatar

    Agh! Cliches! Why oh why can I never recognise them???? Thanks guys and gals.

Ed Harley's avatar
Ed Harley
  • Literary
  • Comedy
  • Fantasy
Alan Scott's avatar
Alan Scott
  • Spiritual
  • Alan Scott avatar

    Susan Anne Lee Thank you : )

  • Susan Anne Lee avatar

    liked this simple but poignant

  • Alan Scott avatar

    Amr Khorkhash Thank you : )

  • Amr Khorkhash avatar

    A great read indeed ! :) Staff Picks

  • Alan Scott avatar

    Hannah Marie Thank you : )

  • Hannah Marie avatar

    Very metaphorical and thoughtful piece piece Alan Scott, works very well at conveying its message.

  • john paul the second avatar

    Very vivid. I think you did a good job communicating and writing for an audience.

  • Alan Scott avatar

    Joey T Thank you

  • Joey T avatar

    Alan Scott great story bro!

  • Alan Scott avatar

    Sheepyblue Thank you : ) I know its a bit heavy handed but that was what the lady wanted.

  • Sheepyblue avatar

    Good piece, what you're trying to convey comes across well.

Paul Bassett Davies's avatar
Paul Bassett Davies
  • Comedy
  • Drama
  • writergeorge avatar

    Enjoyed your story

  • Gillian O'Rourke avatar

    An unexpected, but lovely story. Enjoyed the ending very much.

  • writergirlfl avatar

    That ending was a nice touch, really enjoyed your story.

  • Jed Hirst avatar

    Nice work, Paul. It's gentle, touching and funny all at the same time.

  • WayneJHarris avatar

    Finally a story of the week that I really liked!

  • Tom Benson avatar

    First Class read Paul. The characterisation and imagery were superb and the ending was the icing on the cake. Masterful piece mate.

  • K L  Gillespie avatar

    Wonderful x

  • Jack Durish avatar

    A delightfully gentle story with a... not a twist, but rather a tweak at the end. Thank you

  • RoZita Berry avatar

    LOLOL!! Loved it. Recommending it on FB.

  • David Prosser avatar

    A wonderfully light story with a great little twist at the end.

  • Vibha Sharma avatar

    A very interesting read and even more interesting twist at the end.

  • Amr Khorkhash avatar

    A great read :)

  • john paul the second avatar

    This was a great read. Very pleased to have read it.

  • NBS avatar
    NBS

    A very good story and most enjoyable! Well done.

  • Sabine Shah avatar

    I really like your story. It is more ironic than amusing. She is a nice lady too, is how I see it.

  • D.R. Law avatar

    Nice twist at the end Paul and I also liked the way you got a link in to your blog! I must try that. Good work.

  • Moonvibe avatar

    Very clever little tale with a most amusing ending. Nicely done.

  • Museless Hatter avatar

    This was remarkably funny. Unique, and quirky. Nice.

  • Shane Mohamed avatar

    Very well written. I don't get it though, which makes me feel stupid. Sorry.

  • SimonRW avatar

    Well that caught me off guard. I agree with Ed Harley - very sharp indeed.

  • Harri avatar

    That was great :-)

  • Robert Tucker avatar

    Hahaha! Fantastic story Paul Bassett Davies . The ending is brilliant!

  • Ed Harley avatar

    I think I'll remember this story- that's such a funny scene to picture- sharp!

  • Joey T avatar

    Thanks again for another great story Paul Bassett Davies

Thomas Heasman-Hunt's avatar
Thomas Heasman-Hunt
  • Drama
  • Sci-fi
Kimberly Karlone's avatar
Kimberly Karlone
  • Drama
  • Fantasy
  • Sci-fi
  • doceft avatar

    Well written. I felt like I was looking over her shoulder squinting after that shadow of a girl friend.

  • NBS avatar
    NBS

    A very enjoyable read, good work!

  • lifeandliberty avatar

    Great stuff! Looking forward to more!

  • william calkins avatar

    Smooth narrative flow. I wanted to know a few more details about the planet and aliens. Good Sci/Fi write.

  • john paul the second avatar

    I really enjoyed reading this! In fact I'm recommending it for Staff Picks.

  • Tom Baker avatar

    Really good stuff Kimberly Karlone, nice descriptions and world building

Claude Nougat's avatar
Claude Nougat
  • Drama
  • Romance
  • Sci-fi
  • paulhc avatar

    Claude, I loved this; and the ending...wow!

Claude Nougat's avatar
Claude Nougat
  • Alternative
  • Literary
  • Romance
  • LianneGraziella avatar

    I really enjoyed this, it is really lovely. Great stuff MD Maurice

  • MD Maurice avatar

    Wonderful and warm, a very sincere and touching read!

  • Claude Nougat avatar

    Joey T Joey, thanks so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! As I said to Hannah, I'm honored!

  • Joey T avatar

    Really beautiful story Claude Nougat - I'd second that recommendation.

  • Claude Nougat avatar

    Jack Durish Thanks Jack, and this is an exciting new site, easy to navigate, I like it very much!

  • Jack Durish avatar

    Welcome to the ReadWave club. This is an excellent entre

mummymummy's avatar
mummymummy
  • Comedy
  • Romance
  • Tom Baker avatar

    mummymummy Mysterious and hilarious all at once, fantastic stuff! Please share more!

Alexandra Neon's avatar
Alexandra Neon
  • Alternative
  • Comedy
  • Romance
  • Fisherman avatar

    I enjoyed the manner in which you constructed the situation, with logic, tempo and a bit of whimsy. You definitely have skill.

  • LianneGraziella avatar

  • LianneGraziella avatar

    Really enjoyed this Alexandra Neon. It's a great read and very well written. Good stuff.

  • Robert Tucker avatar

    Thanks for the recommendation Claude Nougat

  • Claude Nougat avatar

    Love it! I recommend it for Staff Picks

  • Kevina Oyatedor avatar

    LOL. This was funny. Like the beginning about the customers at Starbucks. The ending was funny.

  • Jacque Stead avatar

    Carried me along without a pause... smashing end! I think we have all felt the same way one time or another standing in a line waiting....

  • thenotsosecretpoet avatar

    Very witty with lots of humor . Well writen . I have on occasions had the frothy tache . Damn you starbucks

  • Sheepyblue avatar

    I think I liked this ages ago, but just didn't comment. Anyway, enjoyable story, humorous and relatable. Realistic too.

  • Lora Zhang avatar

    i like your sense of humor and the jaunty flow in your narration. very well-written.

  • Tom Baker avatar

    Recommended for Staff Picks, in fact!

  • Alexandra Neon avatar

    Is that better? What do others think?

  • Amber Meyer avatar

    Haha, this story was wonderful. Short, witty and very amusing, I really enjoyed reading it.

  • Tomek Dzido avatar

    This is very well done and your protagonist is real and somewhat true. Nice build up and pace is well developed too. Look forward to more.

  • Sam Woolfe avatar

    Haha a very unusual moment. Loved the sense of awkwardness.

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